Nightmare Boyfriend
Crissy, 17 year old girl, London, Canada
“In May of 2001 a certain boy caught my eye, a seemingly perfect boy; he was funny, cool and cute. Was I in for a surprise.
At first, it was great because Mike was the best friend of my friend’s boyfriend, so we spent a lot of time together. In fact, too much time. Mike was like that; needy, and clingy, very clingy. We often fought when I couldn’t hang out with him, and he’d break up with me. No biggie though. I thought he was just very angry and needed some cool-down time. Soon after we’d break up, he’d come to me apologizing and asking me back out. Silly me, I’d always go back.
What’s important to know, is that I was the type of girl who everyone liked. Cool, confident, funny, smart, and attractive; a genuinely good person all round.
Little did I know, Mike was somehow gaining control over me. He’d make me feel guilty when I wanted to have a “girls night out.” But I kept convincing myself he was just really insecure, and somehow thought he’d lose me. I cared about Mike, and I hated to argue, so I soon gave up doing all the things I loved.
But, the arguing didn’t stop. We argued about everything. Mike’s moods changed like the weather, one minute he treated me like a princess, the next like dirt. At times he’d tell me he loved me and at others he would threaten me. But I put up with it, and slowly I became insecure, sad and very angry. I couldn’t understand, what had I done wrong? His behavior had become emotionally draining, and very abusive.
It wasn’t until April of 2002—almost a year later—that I realized I had to get out of the relationship. One night, after watching a movie, I was ready leave his Mom’s house, but Mike wasn’t ready for me to leave and he refused to let me go. I was angry and scared. When I went to put my shoes on, he went to block the door. At first it seemed like some stupid game, but when I tried to push past him, he wouldn’t let me through. Then he reached into the kitchen and grabbed a knife, like a steak knife, and held it to my stomach with this disgusting smirk on his face. I could feel the knife poking my stomach, and asked him, “What the hell are you doing?” His reply, “I’m just joking with you.”
Then, when he went to put the knife back, I pushed him a little so he’d lose his balance and I ran out the door. He quickly followed and grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, nearly breaking it. I slapped him in the face so he’d let go and started running again. He caught up with me and by this time we were on a busy road.
Mike grabbed me and I started to cry. Mike is a much bigger than I; nearly a foot taller. Mike pushed me and said he was going to push me in front of traffic, because I didn’t care about him. As I got closer to the road he pushed me one final time and tripped me. I fell into some shrubs. Mike freaked out and apologized.
It took me until June, but I finally broke up with Mike. Little did I know that it was only the beginning. Mike started stalking me, watching me, phoning me multiple times a day, emailing me several times a day, and he even posed as one of my friends online. I became so insecure, angry, and depressed that I attempted suicide that summer. Thankfully, my best friend saved my life.
I never knew one person could turn my whole life upside down, and warp who I was as a person. I was diagnosed with Depression and Post Traumatic stress, and have been on 5 different medications and gained a lot of weight from them! :( Finally, I am medication free, and it feels so good! Now I’m just trying to focus on me, I am losing weight and feeling great. I’ve won half the battle, though I still have a way to go. Through this whole thing, I learned to keep my own best interests at hand, and always trust my intuition, as it will never steer me wrong.”
